


Attraction of the Love Variety

by StupidGenius



Series: Tumblr AUs/prompts (Sterek) [8]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Public Nudity, honestly im not ever sure what this is, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:19:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4395125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidGenius/pseuds/StupidGenius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She laughs when she’s done.</p><p>“Um.” He says eloquently.</p><p>“I – oh my god – I’m so sorry.” She giggles. “It’s just – oh my god.” She laughs again, hard, and Stiles frowns.</p><p>“I’m going to be alone forever.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attraction of the Love Variety

**Author's Note:**

> lunaraindrop said: “Sterek Prompt: Stiles and Scott get their fortunes read, (tarot, crystal ball, palm reading, writers choice really), by what they thought was a cliché fortune teller. Turns out they are the real deal, and they tell Stiles that if he does some ridiculous ritual (stand naked in a field of wildflowers playing the ukulele, writers choice again), he will see the person that loves him, and will marry him. (Hint: it's Derek)”
> 
> This actually so crack and I’m sorry.

The sign before them reads;

_Delilah_

That’s it.

There’s a terrible drawing of a gypsy woman on cardboard, which leads them to believe that ‘Delilah’ is a fortune teller. They’re at a carnival, and every few minutes, someone would go into the tent, and either come out crying or come out angry.

“We should do it.” Scott says. Stiles raises his eyebrows.

“We should?”

“Yeah! Why not? It’ll be fun. We need some fun after all the shit we’ve been through.” The werewolf shrugs, and yeah, he’s right, but…

“We can’t do something that doesn’t hit so close to home?”

“Come on.” Scott rolls his eyes and grabs Stiles’ arm. He pulls him in, and –

The magic in the air is so thick he can practically smell it. It pulls his own magic to the surface, itching just under his skin. He doesn’t know why Scott doesn’t react to it, but it puts him on edge. The woman that comes out from behind the curtain does nothing to sooth him.

She’s tall and slender, patches of milky white on her brown skin, and her hair falls in inky black waves all around her. Her eyes are pale, like they’re covered in some sort of translucent white film, and they land on him the second she enters.

“Mr. Stilinski.” Her voice seems to echo throughout the room, and again, why si Scott not flipping out!? “What a pleasant surprise.”

“You know him?’ Scott frowns.

“Oh, no.” She glances at him. “Not personally. But everyone knows the Sheriff.” She pauses, looking them up and down. “Come to get your fortunes read?”

“No –” Stiles starts. But Scott soldiers on like he never even opened his mouth.

“Yeah! Stiles needs advice on his love life. It’s kind of lacking.”

“Dude!” Stiles squeaks. Delilah raises one perfect brow, and suddenly, whatever hold her magic has on his breaks. He doesn’t know if maybe it’s the expression, or the fact that he can tell now his magic is a lot more advanced than hers, but suddenly, he’s perfectly okay with this.

“Very well.” She puts a hand on his arm. “Stiles, come with me. You friend here must stay outside. I’ll get to him when we’re done.”

Scott makes kicked puppy noises, but lets him go, and soon its just Stiles and Delilah in the back, standing around a crystal ball.

“Really?”

She sighs. “It’s just for show. The more ridiculous I seem, the less hunters on my trail.” She sits down, and he does the same. “Now, just give me your hand.”

“Wait.” He bites his lip. “If you’re the real deal, then that means this is real. Your answer will be very real, and I’m not sure if I can handle that.” What if he doesn’t ever find anyone? If he’s just alone forever, watching the pack and, oh fuck, _Derek_ , fall in in love with people and get married and live semi-normal lives.

“I can assure you, Stiles.” She smiles. “There’s someone out there for you.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

She laughs when she’s done.

More like, she snorts really loudly, and then laughs so hard there are tears in her eyes, and Stiles can’t do anything but sit there and stare, because this is his life. For all he knows, she saw him grow up alone and miserable, and she’s laughing at how fucking pitiful his life is.

“Um.” He says eloquently.

“I – oh my god – I’m so sorry.” She giggles. “It’s just – oh my god.” She laughs again, hard, and Stiles frowns.

“I’m going to be alone forever.”

“Oh! No, no you’re not.” She takes a deep breath, smiling like a madman. “In fact, you’ll find them very soon.” Oh.

“I will?” Stiles swallows.

“Oh yes.” She nods. “There’s just a tiny little ritual you need to preform first.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Okay, so, he’s naked.

Not entirely naked. There’s a leaf over his junk.

Something that a drunk guy or forest animal probably _peed_ on is touching his penis.

He might cry. It’s all good.

“I hate my life.” He whined.

Okay, seriously, he has no idea how any of this is supposed to work. He said the dumb spell, and he’s holding the fucking flower, and now he’s here. Naked. Though, he now suspects that this whole naked thing was just for her amusement, and not actually relevant.

This was a huge mistake –

“Stiles?” That’s

That’s Derek.

“I hate my life so, _so_ much.” He repeats, because of course. Of course Derek, of all people, had to go for a jog at three in the morning and find him here.

“Why are you naked?” Derek asks, and his ears are red. So is his face. he’s very decidedly _not_ looking at Stiles’ body.

“I’m searching for my true love?” He tried, wincing. “Okay, look, it’s not – Scott and I went to see this psychic at the fair? And she told me that if I did something a certain time – some sort of ritual, I guess – that I would meet my soul mate. She was being really sketchy about it, but I’m desperate. And alone. So –” He stops.

Someone _did_ find him.

And that someone is Derek.

Derek?

Oh god.

“Oh my god.” he gapes. “It’s you. It’s totally you!”

“Um, what?” Derek blinks at him, and he’s still blushing. Derek Hale. _Blushing_. Because of _him_.

“You!! You’re my soulmate! You’re –” Oh.

Those are lips. There are lips on his lips.

“Oh.” He breathes when Derek pulls away. He’s kind of sweaty, and it’s gross, but Stiles is also kind of naked, so. “Huh.”

“Yeah.” He smiles, and it’s nice. “Is there, um, any particular reason you had to be naked?”

“I think Delilah just wanted to humiliate me.” he answers honestly. Derek raises an eyebrow.

“Who the fuck is Delilah?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Later that night, Parrish catches them in a, uh, _compromising_ position. He promises not to arrest them for public indecency if they never bring it up.

Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> My [tumblr](http://littleredtheboy.tumblr.com/). Come cry over Stiles with me.
> 
> want me to write anything? [Send me a prompt](http://stupidgenius.tumblr.com/ask).


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